


Wannabe Insomniac

by hamletmustdie



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Sooooooo much fluff, ZaDr, zim's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 23:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamletmustdie/pseuds/hamletmustdie
Summary: “Wake up, earth-worm. I have a question.” It took three more pokes to get Dib to stir.He groaned, half asleep. “What?”“This sleep. Does your pitiful human body do anything to keep watch from massive predators?”





	Wannabe Insomniac

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God I needed fluff so bad, so I gave myself a mouth full of cavities and wrote this. Thanks 4 reading & hope you enjoy!!

Dib used to have a clock on his wall until Zim grew so sick of the ticking he tore it off and incinerated it with a PAK leg. Since then, Dib had bought an alarm clock. Zim stared at the bright red numbers that shone through the dark. Three thirty in the morning. When Zim comes over, Dib keeps his night light off; Zim’s PAK glowed a soft pink. It had always been enough to keep the creeps away. This fact made Zim  _ very  _ proud. If Irkens had courting rituals, he believed protection and dominance would be among the top necessities.

The sheets were heavy, but that’s how Zim liked them. He piled them on despite the heat, and Dib complained but didn’t stop him. Beside him, Dib’s breathing had finally evened out to a slow, gentle rhythm, and Zim counted it, not out of boredom but rather because he was determined there existed a certain amount of breaths humans needed; he just wasn’t sure how exactly to calculate that. Or where the idea came from.

A thought sprung suddenly to mind. Zim turned over, poked at Dib’s cheek. 

“Wake up, earth-worm. I have a question.” It took three more pokes to get Dib to stir.

He groaned, half asleep. “ _ What? _ ”

“This  _ sleep. _ Does your pitiful human body do anything to keep watch from massive predators?”

Dib pulled the sheets until they nearly covered his face.

“No,”

“Nothing at all? You are not hiding any extra eyes or vision to avoid being attacked while you are so vulnerable!?”

One hand came up, rubbed at his face. Dib kept his eyes squeezed shut as he spoke. “No, Zim, now can you go to sleep or, like… Distract yourself with something..?”

“Zim does not sleep! Why would I put myself into such a vulnerable state for nine hours! I cannot believe your species has lasted this long,” 

Dib mumbled an annoyed, incoherent reply. Zim squinted at him, then at the wall behind him, lost in thought.

He knew Irkens  _ could _ sleep. They did if they really had or wanted to, but otherwise their PAK did all the work for them. Still, Zim supposed there were  _ some  _ benefits to lying, wrapped up in a soft, comfy bed among pillows and three extra blankets he had dragged from Dib’s linen closet. Beside him, Dib’s form was going quiet again, breaths falling shallow. Outside, lights flashed across the room from the street down below. Dib’s apartment hung over a crowded street corner. Zim’s antennae twitched at the constant sound. But even in longing for the silence of his base, he found himself drawing closer to the human… Which raised a new question in his mind.

Zim turned over to his side to face Dib. He reached and poked a gloved finger against his chin. As Dib had grown older, hairs had begun sprouting from more than just the top of his head. It’d always been weird and terribly creepy to Zim. He certainly preferred a smooth face over this pokey, scratchy one.

“Hey.” Zim hissed in a none-too-quiet whisper. Dib’s brow instantly drew together and his lips set into an irritated frown. “Dib-filth. Wake up. There is something else about this  _ sleep  _ I must know.”

Dib finally opened his eyes to squint at him in the dark. “Can’t you look this up on your tablet or something, it’s three in the morning?”   
  


“Of course I can, but I am asking you-”

“Why?”

“Because Zim wants to! Now answer me.”

“You haven’t asked anything yet!”

“SILENCE! This  _ sleep,  _ why does it require two humans to do it?”

“... What?”

“Why must you pile so many of these soft, squishy blankets on top of you and also lie so close with another  _ huuuman _ ?” He pressed his hands to himself, against the fabric of an all too large shirt he’d taken from Dib, indicating his position as the acting human in what he understood to be a two-man mission. That being,  _ sleep. _

  
Dib opened his eyes a little wider only to squint harder at Zim. “What… the fuck are you even going on about?”

Impatience shot through him as he rolled his eyes hard and grabbed at Dib’s arm (he was hard to grab shirtless- Zim didn’t get that, either, the unclothing while going to bed.) “I am being PERFECTLY clear! Why must you sleep with another human in order  _ TO _ SLEEP!”

“Wh… Where’d you get that from..?”

“Uh, because  _ duh,  _ you always insist on bringing the almighty and glorious  _ ZIM  _ to bed with you before you sleep. And you are always falling asleep in my base with me nearby. I do not understand. If you were in a situation in which no other human was around, would sleep never come? IF so, would you simply die?” If that were the case, then perhaps separating all humans from their sleeping partners would make for a glorious plan for world conquest. These thoughts built up in Zim’s head until they culminated to something else. He suddenly began glaring. “Who does the Dib-thing sleep with when Zim is not here?”

“What…” Dib blushed bright red, then shook his head against the pillow. “I…. I’m sorry, Zim, but- how long have you been here? On Earth? You-... You don’t need anyone’s help to sleep… You just do it whenever you need to... But, uh. I guess many people… Enjoy sleeping with another person..? It’s just nice that way, I guess.”

“But  _ why _ ?”

“Zim, go to bed, I’m tired,”

“Answer the ques-”

“I did! Because we enjoy it! Now shut the hell up and let me sleep!”

“ _ Does _ the Dib sleep with some other creature when I am not here?” He demanded. Dib shook his head again, muttering under his breath as he turned over, tugging the sheets closer. Zim barely withheld a strangled noise of defeat as Dib settled back in. He was familiar with this denying gesture, and  _ hated  _ it.

“Do not ignore me!” Instantly, he was practically crawling onto Dib’s side, pushing the sheets over to find his attention. “These questions are vital! Why do you enjoy sleeping with Zim! And who is the other creature?”

“There isn’t anyone else, Zim!!” Dib snapped, “I don’t enjoy sleeping with you because you always do this! If you’re so damn bored, why don’t you go do something, watch a movie or mess around with your tablet? Don’t you have some stupid plan to put together or something?”

Zim huffed. Truthfully, he didn't know why he hadn’t crawled out of bed to mess around in Dib’s apartment. Why hadn’t he pulled a tablet out of his PAK to get work done, perhaps even send a message to Gir to find out what he was up to right now. The light from the street came across the ceiling in bars as it pushed in through the blinds. It had been raining earlier that day (the reason Zim was staying the night) and he listened to the hiss of tires on asphalt as he rolled off Dib’s side and landed with a  _ fwump  _ onto the bed. Without the stupid human facing him, the space beside him felt weirdly cold. 

Outside, there was the sound of footsteps, laughter, and shouting. More cars. Humans, despite their need for sleep, often ignored it. Zim knew Dib often did, and as Zim came to understand more and more of its importance, he often demanded Dib sleep if he was even a little grouchy. As far as he knew, sleep was the ultimate medicine for humans, and also a good way to get someone to bug off. 

Five minutes passed and Zim realized he’d silently sulked long enough for Dib to begin snoring again. He rolled over and rubbed his forehead against Dib’s back, grabbing at him with gloved hands.

“Turn over, human!”

Dib grumbled loudly, turned suddenly over and hooked an arm around Zim, drawing him suddenly suffocatingly close. Zim gasped, squirming almost wildly. 

“If you don’t shut up, Zim,” 

“Unhand me!”

“Lie still and  _ go the fuck to bed  _ or shut up!” 

Zim went still, if only because he knew if he used his PAK legs to get out of Dib’s grip, they’d stab into the bed, and he’d ruin the second mattress Dib had owned since he'd began staying over. Last time Dib had been pretty pissed; mattresses apparently weren’t cheap, even if Zim had access to illegal caches of human monies. Whatever. 

Despite lying still, Zim chose to simmer and glare up at the ceiling.

“Quit sulking. It’s too hot for that,” Dib muttered. Zim was still surprised humans didn’t  _ also  _ get very warm when they were angry or upset. He crossed his arms. Beside him, Dib was quiet for a long time. Zim scoffed; he’d fallen asleep, he didn't care that he was irritated, a little rejected, angry, and what else. But then gently, Dib spoke into the dark, “You know why people like sleeping with each other. You know why I let you stay the night so often, you just want a long winded answer, you ego-maniac,”

“... Perhaps,” Zim grumbled.

One of Dib’s hands, hooked around Zim still, went to his head, caressed a spot just beneath his antennae. “What other reason could there be?” He asked. So tired, Dib’s voice was low and breathy. 

“Nothing,”

“Don’t tell me you need reassurance,”

“Reassurance of loving Zim! How could someone as amazing as  _ I  _ need reassurance of that! I am aware of my incredible self and all the reasons I should be desired.” Zim grinned, a little over-loud. “... But, ehhh, Zim does not tire of hearing such praises,”

Beside him, Dib laughed softly. His grip loosened. Zim glanced at him.

“One day you’re gonna wear me out of saying this, and I won’t ever tell you it again,” he muttered. That made Zim’s antennae press hard against his skull, and he frowned, less malicious than he wanted and really just hurt. Dib rolled his eyes. “Oh relax. You know I don’t mean that-”

“Dib-worm cannot withhold these things from Zim, if I ask for them-”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I’ll tell you again, so relax.” Dib rubbed at his face, looking as to have given up on sleep which both gratified Zim, and also made him feel a tiny twinge of guilt. But only a little. He sat up on one elbow and stared at Zim, squinting a bit. He reached forward, and took one of Zim’s hands… Then began slowly to tug one black, leather glove away. Zim watched with suspicious eyes. “Despite being the worst extra-terrestrial I’ve ever met, I like you, and have liked you for uh… A long time,”

“Because I am so amazing,” 

“No.”

“Then WHY-”

“Can I finish, please?” Dib looked at him deadpan and Zim glared. With one glove gone, Dib went to the other. The air was cool against his skin; despite all they’d done together so far, Zim didn’t exactly love being without his gloves. He wasn’t entirely sure why. “Thank you. Anyway, I’ve liked you for a while, as you know because you’ve heard this plenty of times before. So when humans sleep, if there’s someone they _like_ in a _particular_ _manner_ , then they, um, like to go to bed with them,” The double meaning of this was lost on Zim; so far, he was only familiar with cuddling, kissing, and semi-heated make outs between the sheets, so when Dib blushed a little more brighter than usual, Zim only stared and missed the chance of conversation for future… _Endeavors_. Dib quickly moved on, taking one of Zim’s now ungloved hands, and kissed one bony knuckle. One of Zim’s antennae twitched. “As for why, I don’t get it either. You’re weird and annoying and you keep me up all night and it’s the worst. But I still like you. A lot. There. Can I sleep now?”

  
Zim tapped his chin thoughtfully. Technically, Dib hadn’t gone on about how great and worthy of his affections he was, but he supposed he would let it slide just this once. “I want one of those wet-mouth-thingies first,” He intertwined one of his hands with Dib’s. 

“... A kiss?”

“Yes, that,”

Dib sighed, the ghost of a smile playing on his mouth although he pretended to act bothered. He leaned forward, took Zim by his face, which was just nearly Zim’s favorite part of this act. He’d never admit it, but Dib was far bigger than him and his hands were larger now. When he grabbed his jaw, it encompassed nearly half the bone and warmth radiated from it like something inorganic and electronic. Zim was merely an Invader (a food service drone) but it was installed into his PAK this unique reverence for all creatures taller than him. Technically it was supposed to extend only to the Irken species, but it drew towards Dib, now, too. He’d gotten so much  _ taller  _ since they’d left highschool...

Dib’s thumb drew lazy, idle circles against Zim’s high cheek bone while he held his gaze. Zim didn’t understand much about human affection or love, except that he liked to be touched and to touch. He didn’t know the depths of his own feelings, let alone Dib’s, and it scared him a bit, when Dib looked at him like that. It also sent a rush of something else up his spine. He understood neither of these reactions. 

Finally, Dib closed the space between them and found his mouth. Zim didn’t exactly have the weird-lip-thingies humans did, but he’d learned how to kiss well without them. Dib’s mouth was hot and very wet, where Zim was far drier, for some reason, ridged, snake-like tongue slipping into Dib’s mouth near instantly. He was addicted to the way Dib made tiny sounds when he slipped his tongue into his mouth, a tiny victory among many others. Although this victory was easily overturned. All Dib had to do was tighten his grip on Zim’s face, draw him a little roughly closer and Zim would begin to melt. He’d grip at his wrists, then the front of his chest, then run frantic fingers into his hair. He could feel his PAK, every time, heat up in confusion, searching for a response that made better sense than to reciprocate. Irkens were great at battle, violence, death, plenty else, and Zim was convinced they simply had not been wired for this type of activity; it made each of his superior organs pulse in a half panic, made him make awful, defeated noises that he almost could not stand. 

He could tell himself this was something he deserved and thus treated it like  _ he _ was the one in control but somewhere buried far deep within himself, he knew really that he just enjoyed being held a little too tightly so that he could hardly move, and feel Dib explore his mouth, rub circles into his jaw, press him into whatever surface they happened to be against. Were Irken’s wired with some taste for submission, too? Zim would have to look into that. 

When the kiss deepened even further, Zim withheld a low purr from the back of his throat and drew closer, his grip tightening. Dib never seemed to mind the way his claws dug into his skin, poked tiny holes in his clothes. And if he did, Zim didn’t know if would be able to stop himself. When he was so close, he felt a horrible, constricting urge to wrap around Dib and burrow into him. He knew plenty about human anatomy, but the Dib was different if only because he was somehow  _ his.  _ Zim didn’t understand this semi-recent turn of their relationship, what it meant to want someone so badly you wanted to fully possess them; if Dib were an object, this would be far easier. But no, Dib had  _ “feelings”  _ and “ _ emotions” _ and “ _ conflicts”  _ and also didn’t think world domination was a very good thing. 

A tiny, almost frightened sound from Zim made both of them start; he felt his cheeks already burning.

Dib grinned at him, too smugly for Zim’s comfort. “You alright?”

“Yes, pig-smelly, now keep going,” Zim snapped quickly, shaking his head, contradicting already. Dib held his face, thumb near one big eye now. Zim’s chest rose and fell fast.

“We can slow down-”

“No! I asked for it in the first place, keep going!” He demanded, but refused to initiate the kiss again. He liked Dib coming to  _ him _ . He also did not quite know how to kiss the way Dib did. He was better at grabbing the human by his collar and mashing their faces together, an act which had broken Dib’s top lip three times. He didn’t know how to slow down and act gentler. Zim let him draw him in again and carefully bite his bottom lip.

Zim had fled Earth years ago, following a message from his Tallest’s demoting him from Invader (food service drone) to exile, then to would-be-executed. Of course, he hadn’t realized going right into the spider’s web would nearly get him killed; he still felt, somewhere, that with enough convincing, the Tallest might change their minds and realize how worthy he was of their approval (and how worthy they were to have him  _ want _ their approval in the first place, really). Zim had gotten himself into a pretty terrible pickle. Life-threatening, too. He hadn’t known the human had followed him in Tak’s stolen (found) ship.

Zim had been very on edge upon receiving that message, and had convinced Dib world conquest was coming as soon as returned from wherever he was going. He should've known Dib was coming; he didn’t like to think back on that day years ago, recall how his thoughts had swum wildly in his head and how every inch of himself had felt on fire with paranoia and anxiety, but even he knew he’d sounded far more serious, far more desperate than he ever had before. No wonder Dib had been terrified enough to follow, for both of their sakes. It hadn’t helped that the two had formed a shaky alliance by that time, making Zim’s sudden declaration appear not only psychotic but also half of a betrayal. They had almost been what Dib called  _ friends. _ How icky was that. And to think Zim had felt a shred of  _ guilt _ in regards to that! 

_ And now you are taking part in a filthy-romantic-ritual with the Dib-beast.  _

It was all very…. Well, Zim didn’t want to say  _ un-Irken _ of him. Because he was Zim, and thus everything he did was very Irken and very Zim-like because he said so. That made dealing with the Tallest’s disapproval a tiny bit easier, and it also made kissing Dib easier. Even if it burned a little.

He hadn’t realized he was nearly purring again, humming almost sweetly against Dib’s mouth until he felt the cheeky grin in the human’s kiss and he pulled away, pretending to scowl. Dib was used to that and he almost laughed.

“Good enough for you?” He asked. Zim noted the faint breathlessness in his voice and grinned.

“Your mouth disgusts me. More-” He crawled forward but Dib pressed a hand against his chest, halting him.

“It’s late, Zim, we can tomorrow,”

“You  _ WORK  _ tomorrow!”   
  


“Not all day,”

Zim glared. “One is not enough,” 

Dib pressed a quick kiss to the space where humans had a nose. 

“There.”

“No! Too small!”

“Zim! Seriously, it’s late! I’ll hold you or something, but I need to go the fuck to bed!”

Zim growled in impatience, crossing his arms tightly across his chest, almost simmering again. His stomach was still rolling with the heated emotions those kiss-things gave him. Beside him, Dib clicked his tongue, then gingerly reached under Zim’s back, curving his arm around his PAK and drawing him closer. “Quit sulking. We’ll do more tomorrow.” 

Zim didn’t answer, still angry. Dib wrapped arms around his middle. The alien scowled.

“I am not some stuffed smeet _-_ toy to be held,” he muttered when Dib pressed his face into the crook of Zim’s shoulder.

“No? I hadn’t noticed,”

“Enough! You are humiliating Zim!”

“I’ll let you go then-”

“No! Hold Zim!”

Dib half muttered, half laughed, only holding him a little closer. 

Zim folded the anger away for later times in the back of his mind as he felt himself adjusting to Dib’s grip. Despite their wildly different sizes and shapes, he was pleased that he fit so well this close to the human. He wondered if Dib felt honored; a million, billion planets and trillions of miles of space between them, and he’d landed on Dib’s stupid lawn. The only other living creature that fit him so well. But of course luck would have it that way; he was Zim, afterall.

  
  
  



End file.
